


Hogwarts Killer

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Boyband, Chamber of Secrets, Comedy, F/M, Filk, Gen, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Second Year, Parody, Singing, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 07:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2260662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A song filk of DuJour's "Backdoor Lover" from the Josie and the Pussycats movie. Tom Riddle and the Basilisk get their boy band on in the Chamber of Secrets, plotting the next kill while Ginny sits writing in her diary to Tom. I wrote this back in early 2004.</p><p>Hogwarts killer<br/>Oh the mudbloods, he's comin' out for you<br/>The damage a little book can do</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hogwarts Killer

**Author's Note:**

> "Hogwarts Killer" set to the tune of "Backdoor Lover" by DuJour in Josie and the Pussycats.

**Tom**  
Mmm...yeah...  
Hey......yeah...  
Hogwarts killer  
Ooh..........yeah  
  
Salazar Slytherin had started this noble work  
 **Basilisk**  
Rip, tear, kill  
 **Tom**  
Gettin' rid of Mudbloods since they all had been such jerks  
 **Basilisk**  
Time to kill  
 **Tom**  
Keeping magic learning in the hands of those pureblood  
If it don't apply, get out, because you just are some mud  
  
All you Mudbloods think you're safe in your room  
Mudbloods, you watch out, it will get you soon  
  
It's the Hogwarts killer  
The horror of the Chamber's been released  
Hogwarts killer  
You'll see his eyes and die from the beast  
Hogwarts killer  
Oh the Mudbloods, he's comin' out for you  
The damage a little book can do  
  
It's not only hard work you know, it is also so much fun  
I let him out of the Chamber, we're killin' one by one  
And soon enough the Mudbloods in Hogwarts will all be gone  
And when they are, Lord Voldemort is gonna carry on  
  
All you Mudbloods think you're safe in your room  
Mudbloods, you watch out, it will get you soon  
  
It's the Hogwarts killer  
The horror of the Chamber's been released  
Hogwarts killer  
You'll see his eyes and die from the beast  
Hogwarts killer  
Oh the Mudbloods, he's comin' out for you  
The damage a little book can do  
  
 **Ginny**  
Tommy  
Like a friend in my pocket and  
Tom Riddle  
I'm just feeling really confused  
Tommy  
I don't know what I have been doing at all  
It feels like I've been being used...  
  
 **Tom**  
It's the Hogwarts killer  
The horror of the Chamber's been released  
Hogwarts killer  
You'll see his eyes and die from the beast  
Hogwarts killer  
Oh the Mudbloods, he's comin' out for you  
The damage a little book can do  
  
 **Basilisk**  
I smell blood  
Been so hungry for so long  
I smell blood  
Kill...  
I smell blood  
Been so hungry for so long  
Rip, tear, kill...  
  
 _During the following, the Basilisk shouts things like "Rip, tear, kill!" and "I smell blood!" as Tom sings_  
  
 **Tom**  
It's the Hogwarts killer  
The horror of the Chamber's been released  
Hogwarts killer  
You'll see his eyes and die from the beast  
Hogwarts killer  
Oh the Mudbloods, he's comin' out for you  
The damage a little book can do  
  
It's the Hogwarts killer  
The horror of the Chamber's been released  
Hogwarts killer  
You'll see his eyes and die from the beast  
Hogwarts killer  
Oh the Mudbloods, he's comin' out for you  
The damage a little book can do  
  
It's the Hogwarts killer  
The horror of the Chamber's been released  
Hogwarts killer  
You'll see his eyes and die from the beast  
Hogwarts killer  
Oh the Mudbloods, he's comin' out for you  
The damage a little book can do  
  
 _Tom laughs maniacally and the song ends_


End file.
